Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
