Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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