He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
