I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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