i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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