You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
