I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just had sex bonerless
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Randomize
