Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
