My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
