She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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