He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
