is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
