i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Semen is not good for contacts.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
