Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
