He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
