I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
