just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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