I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Let's paint friendship bongs
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
