On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
