marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dual....:-)
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
