hotel room ftw
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
