all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
