Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
