I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
