be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
