I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
