Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
