I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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