I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
