Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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