is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
