You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
