Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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