I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize