i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
