she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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