so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
