i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
