her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
