i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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