Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
