i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
