Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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