Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
