Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
