My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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