I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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