3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
