I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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