1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
